Boning – 19 Update, Inward Focus and a Small Modicum of Motivation.

Cliched but true…

I enjoy employing discipline, I know it is helpful in life and I enjoy the after effect of getting stuff done (little tip there).  If I had no discipline or self-motivation I would have accomplished nothing in the two weeks I’ve been self-isolating (not that there’s anything wrong with that). 

This is partly why I want to write and publish a blog post every Tuesday or Wednesday even if I’d rather do fuck all.  Because I want readers for my blog and I want people to think I can stick to a schedule.  I want to illustrate that I can approach my blogging, even if it is a hobby, with professionalism.  I learned to honour my obligations from my dear mum. 

So every blog post I make is made for the reader.  I can only hope to offer something you might enjoy reading, and can pick up some knowledge or tips from on the subject of mental health and becoming well again. 

I scrutinise the effort to assess if there is reason for people to visit, gain something from, and come back next time.  I’m not expert, not at all, but I persevere to offer something at least partly attractive.  

Sewn into the text there is more to see than Prima Facie too, little things here and there that one might not notice first time round.  I’ve had an intense journey with mental health recovery, and helpful advice spews out that sometimes I don’t notice, because being so well recovered from serious stuff, I take it for granted.    

Eventually, when my mental health memoir is published, I hope to be able to shift a few through any blog readers or followers I am lucky enough to have.  I learned a couple of years ago that a writer needs to have a platform from which to sell books, and also a website where interested literary professionals or potential buyers can see examples of work and information about the author, so I started to blog.

It is now a fun hobby, a project, and having it has changed my life (when out and about walking I think a lot about taking pics or other inspiration for next Tuesday’s post) and it helps me to have this hobby.  Lots of people with mental health stuff serious or light will sympathize.  I’d recommend blogging as a fun and useful hobby, especially if you want to accomplish something but are stuck at home either from boning – 19 or mental health problems.  

New walks recently, always something interesting.

For all my faults, one thing I have going for me is that I have a desire to impress, even if it’s just impressing myself – personal growth.  I am not someone happy to stagnate.  If I’m with others, like in my monthly meetings being on the North and Mid Hampshire Mental Health Service User Advisory Board, then many thoughts come and go during the conversation while I try to line up the most profound and useful contributions to share with the rest. 

Of course I usually miss the mark, but sometimes I come up trumps.  There is a lot about life I have yet to know but that’s okay, if I’m with people whose expertise dwarfs mine then I’ll focus on doing something that will amaze just me, while waiting for an opportunity to contribute something decent from my 37 years and unique experience on this earth.  Often inspiration is enough to impress the experts though! 

If the subject is mental health however, I am quite comfortable.   

It’s just how I work – constantly desiring to say something helpful, trying to contribute both with organised thinking and planned ideas, and with following the magic within to satisfy the end goal, whether it’s charming someone/creating a positive rapport or offering useful ideas on improving mental health services in North and Mid Hampshire.  It seems that every gap in good local mental health services boils down to lack of funds and if that can’t be changed we have to think hard about creative solutions. 

It motivates me to think that I could do nothing with my day, or put in a small consistent effort to improve my situation.  Alongside with finding a good medication, small consistent actions is how I recovered from serious psychosis and panic attacks/anxiety. 

Day fourteen of self isoboredtion and I’m doing well, I live close to the town centre shops and the Marks and Spencer has no car park, so the only people who shop there are on foot, so it’s practically empty in terms of other people, but fully stocked with food. 

I go for a long walk every day, I read a lot online and from the bookshelf and I’ve made excellent progress on my mental health memoir.  I’ve got into a brilliant app – the Google arts and culture app, I’m especially interested in Manet, Monet and Van Gogh at the moment, and I think to myself if it weren’t for social isolation, I would not have become interested in art like I seem to be right now!

A tres bien Van Gogh ya!

Best wishes in seeing the positives during this difficult time, and staying motivated and happy.   

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